Tiny Vessels
by squirrelweevil
Summary: This is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her but you don't." Jim and Karen go on vacation to get some time away from the hassles of Scranton, but Jim realizes something major while they're away. Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam


Tiny Vessels

A.N: This is inspired by the Death Cab for Cutie song Tiny Vessels. It sort of follows the story set out in the song. Obviously, I don't own Death Cab, or the Office. Sadness.

I wonder if you guys will be able to find all the references to the song? Ten points to anyone who can ;)

This takes place after Karen tells Jim that they should take a vacation, but before the end of the season.

* * * 

  Jim looked up at Karen as she arched her back, as she threw her head back and moaned. He couldn't keep his hands off her, touching her skin, running his hands up her sides, feeling her breasts as she rode him. She was so glamorous. He felt like he was watching a movie unfold when she moved. A few minutes later when she finally collapsed on him, both of them spent, he ran his fingers through her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

* * *

Karen was having the time of her life. She was in California with her boyfriend, taking a much needed vacation. Jim had readily agreed to her suggestion at the office that they escape somewhere - they both knew they needed it after all the tension with Pam. So here they were in sunny California, staying out late and sleeping in even later. She was bringing Jim to all the clubs that her girlfriends had told her about. She wasn't one hundred percent sure he was really enjoying himself but she felt she deserved some 'me' time after all that had happened, so she let the feeling pass. Another one of her priorities was hitting all the swankiest restaurants. Their pocketbooks probably shouldn't be taking such a heavy hitting, but it was always worth it when they got back to the hotel. Spending huge amounts of money on small portions of food seemed to make Jim go a little crazy. If crazy meant incredibly sexual and willing to please. Because the sex had become ah-MAZ-zing. Sure, it had never been bad, but this was different. Karen had packed a few outfits to add a little excitement to their sex life, and the combination seemed to drive Jim mad. He never seemed to be able to quit until she had come at least two or three times after she wore one of them. She had dressed up as a french maid one time, a slutty pirate another. His favourite outfit seemed to be one where she wore a black corset and thigh-highs with little kitten ears and a tail she had picked up on a whim from a costume store they had visited one day. He asked her to wear it occasionally after. At first she had worried that he had some sort of secret animal fetish, but when she made a joke about it, he had calmed her half-fears. He just really liked the corset on her, he had said. All in all, with the good food, good times, and great sex, it was the kind of life she could get used to living. 

She was getting ready for another evening out, slipping into a shimmery dress, when Jim appeared at the bathroom door. 

"Hey, what's up?" 

"I'm just thinking that maybe we could stay in tonight? I'm pretty beat from last night still." Jim smiled apologetically at her.

"Oh, sure!" Karen's smile could light a room. "I just hope you're not too tired..."  Her sentence trailed off as she let the dress fall. Jim's casual grin went from a one to a ten as he crosses the room and quickly had Karen wrapped in his arms.

She loosened his tie and undid the buttons of his shirt with dexterity as he lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist. It was only a few steps out of the bathroom to the bed; their hotel room was quite small. After laying her down on the bed, Jim stepped out of his pants, doing the trick movement with his feet that causes his socks to come off at the same time. As soon as he had finished, he was on her again, forcefully kissing her neck and rubbing her sides. This is something Karen had never expected from Jim - he was a rough lover. He gripped her hard, throwing her around unceremoniously to the position he wants her in. She didn't mind, it just didn't seem to fit his persona. 

Before he even does it, Karen stopped him. "Please, let me face you." She's stared up at him, eyes wide, and Jim couldn't say no. It was another thing she hadn't expected from him. Jim really liked doggy style. But he didn't flip her this time, and looked into her eyes the whole time he was inside her. His movements were slow and steady. When she comes, she felt like she was going to fall forever. The words weren't meant to slip out, but in her fit of ecstasy, they did. 

"I love you."

Jim stared at her. Karen bit her lip and broke their gaze for the first time, embarrassed. She tried to push him off of her, but he wouldn't let her move him. They could both hear the cheap clock mounted above, the seconds ticking.

"I love you too." He finally replied, and kissed her closed eyelids. "You are so beautiful, I love you. I do."

In her happiness, she didn't notice how it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince her. 

That night Karen couldn't sleep. She was giddy with energy and happiness. Never before had feelings like this sprung up in her so forcefully. Turning to look at Jim, she started smiled and couldn't seem to stop. He was fast asleep, spent from the nights vigorous activities. They had made love twice more. Neither of those times was as romantic as the first, but she had told him that she loved him after both sessions, and he had always said it back with a smile. Now her fears about Pam could finally be put to rest. This vacation was turning out to be good for more than just some time away together apparently.

* *  *

Jim woke up before Karen as the sunlight filtered through the curtains. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he pulled on a fresh pair of boxers. He didn't like to sleep naked, (something to do with having two older brothers who like to play pranks...) but Karen didn't ever put anything back on after they had sex, so he didn't either. 

He couldn't help but stare at the woman curled up in the bed. Even after a hectic night, she still looked perfect. Her skin was smooth and soft. Her eyebrows were perfectly shaped, her hair was silky and beginning to gain some light brown streaks from spending so much time in the sun. It suited her. It was like she could never not look her best, even when she wasn't putting any effort in. He smiled, but his happiness faded when he noticed a small mark at the base of her neck. Curiosity made him to lean a little closer. It  was a small bruise. He must have bit her a touch too hard sometime last night. The hickey stood out in contrast to the evenly-toned skin. With a sigh Jim stopped admiring his girlfriend and went to take a shower.

They decided to spend the day at the beach. It was just too hot to do anything other than splash around in the water and lay in the shade of huge beach umbrellas. Karen had brought a two-piece for the trip, and Jim couldn't say he wasn't excited to see it on her again. 

It was still early by the time they arrived, and they managed to score great spots close to the water. Karen dug her toes into the warm sand as Jim struggled with the umbrella. After a few moments, he had it set at the angle she wanted, and the laid down their towels. 

"You really should have invested in a new pair of shorts before we came here," Karen giggled as they laid down. "I feel like I'm in high school all over again."

"What's wrong with these?" Jim looked at his trunks. They were light green, with a couple of white stripes up the side. "Are you saying you don't like feeling like a cougar?"

"Cougar!!" Karen's shriek caused a few fellow beach-goers heads to turn in their general direction. "I am only two and a half months older than you Jim Halpert."

"Yeah, yeah" Jim laughed. He lost track of his reply as Karen shimmied out of her loose beach dress to reveal the beloved two-piece once more. It was tiny and black, trimmed with gold.  It looked like something out of a fashion magazine. More heads turned, mostly male, as Karen shook her hair out of it's ponytail. Jim couldn't help but smile as those heads turned back to their plump wives. Oh it was good to be young. 

Soon staying on the towel, even in the shade, quickly became too much for the both of them. After quickly asking a nearby family to keep an eye on their possessions, they ran, shrieking, into the water. 

They played all the typical tourist games that people who don't have unlimited access to the ocean play. Jim tossed Karen into the waves while she kicked and flailed. He sang the ominous jaws theme as he pretended to be a shark coming to attack her. They kissed underwater, and found smooth pieces of glass in the sand. 

Swimming eventually managed to tire the both of them out, and they staggered back to their towels to take a breather. Karen picked up handfuls of sand and trailed them up and down Jim's legs, causing it to stick. In retaliation, he held an ice cube from the cooler to her stomach while she yelped at the sudden coolness.

They had gotten to the point where chatter wasn't always necessary to fill the silence, so while Karen stretched out to tan, Jim watched the other people on the beach. He liked the families. The protective mothers, the playful fathers, the daughters and sons, sisters and brothers.

It took him a few minutes to realize Karen was asleep. Even covered in sand and with salt-water encrusted hair, she looked perfect. Gently stroking a piece of hair away from her face, he couldn't help but smile a sad smile. 

"You're so beautiful Karen," He whispered to her still form. "You're so beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me."

Karen was dreaming that she was falling, falling and it was never going to stop, she was never going to hit bottom - she was screaming and screaming and.. then with a jolt she was awake. Jim was staring at her.

"Are you okay? You look a bit freaked out."

"Yeah I'm fine," Karen replied, running her fingers through her hair. "Just had a bit of a weird dream."

"Oh really? Was it about never having access to shampoo or conditioner again?" Jim asked with a smile.

"No, what? Why? Should I be worried.." she trailed off as she felt her hair again. "Oh god Halpert you shouldn't be allowed to see me like this! It must look like I have a dead cat on my head!" Quickly, she dug through her beach bag for a mirror. After a bit of scrabbling she found it and peered at herself critically. 

"Oh come on," Jim laughed as he tried to swat the mirror out of her hand. "I was just kidding. You look as gorgeous."

Karen, still checking on herself, tried to wipe small bits of sand off her face and neck. One dark bit wouldn't go away, and closer inspection lead her to see.. 

"Halpert! You gave me a hickey! Now I really feel like I'm in high school again."

Jim smiled his apologetic smile. "Sorry."

Karen just smiled back at him. She didn't mind the hickey, really. Sure, walking around with one at her age was a bit embarrassing, but just the fact that Jim had been the one to give it to her made it okay. It was a small sign to other men, saying 'don't even try, I'm taken.' Really, she didn't even want it to fade. 

* * *

Far too soon for Karen's tastes, the vacation was over, and Jim and her were in a plane heading back to depressing old Scranton. She tried to nap in the car as Jim drove them home from the airport, but couldn't catch any shuteye on the bumpy ride. Instead, she stared out the window. The weather was grey, the buildings were grey, everything was grey. It was such a contrast from sunny California. _In fact,_ she though, _the more I see of Scranton, the more things I don't like about it._ If it weren't for Jim, she would have been long gone by now.

Dressing for work the Monday morning, she inspected herself closely in the mirror. Her hair was streaked lighter, her skin was darker, and her little mark was completely gone. Karen didn't think of herself as a girl stuck in the caveman era, but she really had enjoyed the little bruise of ownership Jim had given her. 

Jim had opted to drive him own car to work that morning, saying he needed time at home to get his stuff back in order - throw clothes in the laundry, check on his apartment, do all the things people do when they come home again. Karen guessed that after all the time they spent together he really just wanted a little space.

Sighing as she got in her car, Karen glanced up at the dark grey clouds that were quickly moving in the direction of Scranton. By the time she got to work, she just knew it would be raining. And how right she was. When she pulled into the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot, her wipers were on full speed. She ran inside with her umbrella held low to fend off the pounding rain. 

Pam was the first to see her walk into the office, and Karen saw the receptionist give her the once over. Karen wasn't bothered - her steps were confident, her head held high. She was tan, in love, and back from an amazing vacation. Nothing could bring her down. So taking a seat at her desk, she waited for her boyfriend to arrive.

When lunch came and went, Karen was getting worried. Jim's desk still sat empty. Pam had offered to call his house for her, but Karen had declined, and done it herself. There hadn't been an answer. 

"Maybe he's jet-lagged?" Pam's voice offered some condolence. "And just fell asleep?"

"Yeah, maybe." Karen's answer was distracted as she pressed re-dial on her phone.

"It is really unlike him to call, isn't it?"

Pam's knowledge of Jim's little habits and quirks didn't make Karen feel any better. 

"I'm just going to swing by his place and see what's up." she decided out loud, grabbing her purse. She got a little ruffle of satisfaction in seeing the sadness on Pam's face. There was no way the receptionist could 'swing by'. Not that Karen was a bitter woman, she just didn't enjoy others encroaching on her territory. And with that, she was off. 

The drive to Jim's was short, and Karen debated on ringing the doorbell before walking right in. She was here all the time, wasn't she passed having to announce her presence ever time she arrived?

She found Jim in his living room. She knocked quietly on the doorframe and he looked up from the camera he was holding, startled. 

"What are you doing here?" Jim frowned. 

Karen frowned back. "You didn't show up to work and you didn't call in. I was worried about you."

"Yeah, well I'm here, I'm fine. You can go back to work." Jim's voice had a hard edge to it that she had never heard before. 

"Is something wrong?"

Jim opened his mouth to speak, but abruptly shut it again. Karen came and sat on the bed beside him.

"Come on Jim. You know you can talk to me."

Jim turned to face Karen, and for a second, she almost wanted to look away. There was something she didn't like in gaze. Flustered, she looked at the camera in his hands. He was clicking through pictures of their vacation. 

"Karen.."

"Yes?"

"I think we need to break up."

* * * 

For several moments, she felt like she was falling, and that the fall was never going to end. 

"What? Why?!" She could already hear the hysterical edge to her voice, but couldn't stop it from coming out. "What the hell Jim? Why would you... What happened.. What the fuck!!" She couldn't even get real sentences out.

"It's just that.. It's just that this is all moving too fast for me Karen. We're always together. You live down the street. We took a vacation together, and we haven't even been dating for that long. You said you loved me. I'm just.. I'm just not ready for all this."

"I said I loved you? You said you loved me back!" Karen was yelling now, but she didn't care. "Was that all a lie then? Did you not want to go to California? Did I force you into this apparently terrible relationship? I never heard you asking me to slow down when you were asking to come to my house every night! This is bullshit Halpert!"

Jim didn't say anything, just looked up at her from his seat on the bed. Karen hadn't even realized she was standing, screaming at Jim, a finger pointed at his face. Slowly, she lowered her arm, and sat next to him again. 

'Please Jim. You can't really think this about us. We've been so perfect." 

Jim smiled a sad smile. "I'm so sorry Karen. I am so sorry."

Karen stood slowly, and Jim stood with her. They stood in silence for a moment. 

"I wish.. I wish it didn't have to be this way." He said finally. Karen closed her eyes, but couldn't prevent the tears from seeping out from under her lids. Jim instantly wrapped her up in a hug, squeezing her tightly. He held her until her tears stopped, and then they both slowly walked down to the door together. He stood in silence in frame as she turned to look at him. 

"I think I know what this is really about." She said finally to break the silence. "I'm pretty sure I do."

Jim couldn't argue with her. "I'm sorry." he softly said again. "I'll always be sorry."

Karen could feel another bout of tears coming. She didn't want to see the pity in Jim's eyes so she reached up to kiss him one last time. His lips were soft but unresponsive under hers. Shoulders slumped, she backed away from him, and without another word, got into her car and drove away. 

She only made it a few blocks before she had to pull over. Not able to see through her tears anymore, Karen put her head down on the wheel and truly cried. She felt vile and cheap. She didn't mean a thing to Jim, even though he had meant so much to her. She hadn't meant a single fucking thing. 

Jim knew he couldn't waste any more time. This had to happen. If it didn't. Well.. he didn't want to think about that. So throwing his jacket on, he ripped out of his driveway.

His co-workers gave him a few stares when he walked into the office, and Michael bounded out of nowhere towards him.

"Jimbo my boy! Where have you been all day? You can't just show up any time you want you know." 

Jim didn't even acknowledge him. Pam wasn't at her desk. Where was she? Ah, the conference room door was shut, meaning some sort of interview was going on. He could only hope it wasn't Karen as he opened the door...

* * *

It wasn't.

"Everything is going to be.." Pam stopped in mid-sentence when she saw him standing there.

"Pam. Sorry," he motioned at the cameraman conducting the interview before quickly turning back to the receptionist. "Are you free for dinner tonight?"

Pam gaped at him. "Yes."

"Alright. Then it's a date." Jim smiled and the quickly shut the door behind him.

* * * 

Later on, Pam would give him a copy of the interview, just so he could see her reaction. 

* * *

Please review!! I'd like to know if I'm any good at these Office fics :)


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